(POLITICAL SATIRE) (WASHINGTON, September 20, 2017) Disappointed that Hurricane Irma and Harvey did not kill enough people, GOP leaders are pressing hard to pass a “healthcare” bill that will destroy Medicaid and insure the death of thousands of Americans every year.
“We’re very hopeful it will pass,” Sen. Lindsey Graham, one of the sponsors of the bill said. “We owe it to Mitch.”
According to inside sources, Graham was referring to the fact that Majority Leader Mitch McConnell feeds off the souls of the dead. When the Trumpcare bill was killed earlier, McConnell’s life force became sapped, and even secret backroom sacrifices of chickens and goats seemed to be working.
Vice president Pence, who has never seen his own reflection in a mirror, said the White House was “all in. We need those souls!”
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