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Statue of Liberty actually a giant flashlight, White House says

Statue of Liberty, New York. Photo by sborisov, via

(POLITICAL SATIRE) (WASHINGTON– August 2, 2017) According to White House aide Stephen Miller, the Statue of Liberty has nothing to do with immigration and in fact was originally built as a flashlight to light up New York Harbor.

“It used to be really dark out there, and so France built us this really, really big flashlight. We appreciate that. But the statue has never had anything to do with immigration.”

In a press conference  about Trump’s new immigration bill, which some estimate would cut the number of immigrants to the US in half, Miller quickly got into a heated exchange about the poem, “Give me your tired, your poor…” and whether it represented the values of the Statue of Liberty and the United States.

“It does not. It was never about that. It was just dark out there. In fact, we are in the process of changing out that poem to a new one that better reflects the ideals of this administration.”

A source told The Failing Times that the new poem for Lady Liberty was being written by the President, and that the first line is:  there once was a man from Nantucket…”



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