News Ticker

Breaking with tradition, no pets in Trump White House, except for Anthony Scaramucci

By Jdarsie11 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

(POLITICAL SATIRE) (Washington–July 25, 2017) Breaking with a long standing tradition, there will be no dog in the White House.

“I don’t need a dog, ” the President said earlier today. “I’ve taught Tony Scaramucci everything I could teach a dog, believe me. He fetches for me, he’ll roll over. Did you see him on TV the other day? He speaks like a champ, right on cue.”

A White House spokesman said Trump enjoys taking Scaramucci for walks on the South Lawn.

“He sniffs a bit. The President even throws the ball for him on occasion,” the spokesman said.

At night, Scaramucci and Trump like to cuddle on the couch while watching reruns of The Flintstones. “Tony loves to have his ears scratched,” an inside source told The Failing Times.

Trump is said to be teaching him new tricks.

“He can already say ‘I Love the President.’ We’re working on ‘He had nothing to do with Russia.’ ” Trump said.  “So far, he’s a President’s best friend. And he hasn’t had a single accident. Yet.”



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