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Nixon to Trump: “Burn the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] tapes”

White House photo

(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON, May 14, 2017) In a shocking development, former President Richard Nixon came back from the dead to offer a piece of advice to President Donald Trump.

“I just want to say this about that,” said Nixon, who looked tanned, rested and dead. “He should burn those [EXPLETIVE DELETED] tapes. I must have been out of my [EXPLETIVE DELETED] mind to let those [EXPLETIVE DELETED], [EXPLETIVE DELETED], [EXPLETIVE DELETED] catch me with those [EXPLETIVE DELETED] tapes. Burn the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] things.”

Nixon, who has been dead for years, was asked if he is eyeing a run for the White House in 2020.

“Not on your [EXPLETIVE DELETED] life,” Nixon said. “Today’s GOP are a bunch of [EXPLETIVE DELETED], [EXPLETIVE DELETED], [EXPLETIVE DELETED][EXPLETIVE DELETED], [EXPLETIVE DELETED], [EXPLETIVE DELETED] nut jobs.”

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