(Political Satire) (HARRISBURG, Pa–April 30, 2017) Thousands of loyal supporters showed up for President Trump’s rally yesterday, while millions more stayed home, watched news clips of it, and when they realized this was the President of the United States, vomited.
“That was pretty much the reaction of most Americans,” said emergency room doctor Irwin M. Cotladder. “People listened to the crap coming out of his mouth, and when they ,looked down and saw the Great Seal of the President of the United States, a sense of vertigo took over, and they tossed their cookies.”
Hospitals all over America reported a similar response to news coverage of the President’s rally.
The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, about to lose a big chunk of its budget because of cuts by Republicans, confirmed that most Americans get nauseous at the sight of Trump.
“It’s seeing him, thinking for one flash that he’s that clown on The Apprentice, and then your stomach dropping when you realize that he’s the President of the United States,” said a spokesman for the agency. “We’re only 100 days in. I suggest a low dose regiment of Dramamine.”
POLITICAL SATIRE. Not Real News