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Trump orders missile strike against Nordstrom for Ivanka’s birthday

© SharpShooter via

(Political Satire)(WASHINGTON, April 14, 2017) Encouraged by the influence she had over her father President Donald Trump’s decision to launch a missile strike on Syria, Ivanka Trump is said to have convinced him that a strike against the department store chain Nordstrom, should come next.

“Ivanka is still upset that Nordstrom dropped her clothing line,” a spokesman said. “The President thinks it’s very unfair as well.”

When The Failing Times asked press secretary Sean Spicer if a missile strike against a department store wasn’t a bit over the top, he pushed back vigorously.

“Over the top? Hitler even sent V2 rockets into Department stores. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spicer said.

“And stop shaking your head at me, or you’re next.”



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