(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON–April 9, 2017) Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos was recently given a million dollars a month in extra security to deal with an “unspecified threat.”
But The Failing Times has learned the Education Secretary has been threatened by Grizzly Bears.
“She can have a dozen U.S. Marshals or a million,” said Hector G. Bear, a spokesbear for the Grizzlies. “But we know what she has planned: Bear guns in every school building, including New York City.”
DeVos had no comment on the matter.
But Mrs. Louanne Blackboard, a Principal in Kentucky, said:
“We could cancel a lot of bake sales with an extra million dollars. Hey, we could actually put that money to use for students. Like buying books that teach evolution.”
POLITICAL SATIRE. Not Real News