(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON, MAR 27, 2017) Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, massively depressed after his healthcare plan was defeated before it was even voted upon, has taken to the basement of the Senate Building and refuses to come out.
According to an inside source, Ryan has a make-believe podium set up in an empty room and pretends he’s taking a vote on his bill, the AHCA.
“We’ve been standing outside the door listening, and every time he has the make-believe roll call, he wins by a wide margin. We’re getting worried about him, because he won’t come out. He’s not even doing his daily 500 sit ups.”
Word has reached President Trump about Ryan, and according to a source inside the White House, Trump is planning on getting into his tiny toy truck and peddling over to the Capital to see what he can do.
POLITICAL SATIRE. Not Real News