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Trumpcare vote postponed because not enough Americans will be hurt by it

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(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON-3.22.17) House leaders postponed a critical vote on Trumpcare today because the bill as it exists did not take insurance away from enough Americans.

“We’re trying to get there,” said a spokesman for the House Freedom Caucus, a conservative faction, “but we haven’t stripped enough benefits out of the law.”

President Trump, who earlier said he would be giving Americans “the best care,” agreed last night to remove the law’s requirement that insurance policies actually insure people.

“We are zeroing in on absolutely no coverage at all,” said Sean Spicer, White House Secretary. “We are hoping to get there, but so far, we still have a few people covered.”

****Update****

Late this afternoon, Trump said he was done negotiating.

“Either pass this bill,” he said, “or I will sign an executive order changing the name of Obamacare to Trumpcare and go golfing for the weekend.”

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