(Political Satire)(WASHINGTON, Mar 8, 2017) A day after the Republican party unveiled it’s long awaited replacement for the Affordable Care Act, some Tea Party Republicans are objecting.
“We think a golden opportunity was missed to throw everyone living in poverty off health care. Instead, we’re handing out more government money to keep people from dying. It’s just not right,” said Sen. Rand Paul.
But other GOP Senators were quick to come to the new bill’s defense.
“Americans are going to have to decide whether to buy a new iPhone or health insurance,” said Rep. Jason Chaffetz, while talking on a brand new iPhone 7 and collecting a government sponsored congressional healthcare plan.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was quick to weigh in about a key provision of the GOP bill.
“We are all in agreement that gutting funding for the Center for Disease Control so that the upper 1% can have a huge tax break makes tremendous sense,” Ryan said about the one billion dollar cut in funding to the agency. “It’s not like the CDC needs all that money. They’re going to have to decide between buying iPhones and fighting Bird Flu, Zika, and outbreaks of Ebola. The CDC needs to have some skin in the game.”
Meanwhile, Apple stock continued to trade briskly, indicating the most people were still buying iPhones.
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