(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON-Mar 1, 2017) President Donald J. Trump’s good twin was sent to address a joint house of of Congress last evening, while Trump’s evil identical twin stayed home at the White House and threw mashed potatoes at the portrait of George Washington.
The good twin, who is usually kept locked in the attic, was released to read a series of carefully crafted sentences written mostly by Steve Bannon.
Media everywhere were quick to praise Good Trump.
“We thought he pronounced his words very carefully. That was a remarkably well pronounced speech,” said an anchor at a major news network.
“The speech was a triumph,” said a White House spokesperson. “He said all those words written for him without going off script and saying something hateful to anybody. Extremely Presidential, if say, you were casting a movie and needed somebody to look like a President.”
GOP leaders also loved the speech. According to inside sources, Steve Bannon and Sean Spicer spent most of the afternoon wiring seats of all Republican members of Congress. At the touch of a button, a shock sent them screaming to their feet.
“It was very effective,” an unknown source said. “We are quite certain that the American people are gullible enough to fall for it.”
Afterwards, Good Trump was returned to the attic and the evil identical twin went into the Oval Office to continue Making America Great Again, to kick his dog, Taco Bowl, deport people, and call the Kremlin.
POLITICAL SATIRE. Not Real News