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Trump shows his ‘big heart’ by planning to deport millions because they’re ‘homesick’

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(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON–Feb 21, 2017)  President Trump demonstrated his “big heart” by revealing his plans to deport millions of immigrants.

“Let’s face it,” he said, “they’re homesick. They want to go home. It’s a win-win.”

When asked where the “win” was, the President, sitting on a tiny gold chair, said it was about jobs.

“Look, when these illegal people leave it will open up millions of great paying jobs washing dishes in restaurants, mowing lawns, back breaking labor picking vegetables under the hot sun. These jobs were robbed from Americans, and it’s high time that we took them back.”

But when The Failing Times asked Mr. Earl Redback, who is unemployed, if he’d take any of those jobs, he threw his hands in the air.

“Mow lawns? Are you crazy? I hire a guy to do that. Anyway, I’ll be employed soon in a brand new factory making $25 an hour as soon as Trump makes America great again.” Then, he added, “You wouldn’t have any idea how soon he’ll get around to that, would you?”

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