Advertisements
News Ticker

GOP Leaders relieved Gen. Flynn doesn’t have email problem like Hillary

By Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America (Michael Flynn) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

(Political Satire) (WASHINGTON–Feb 14, 2017) Republican House and Senate leaderships sighed in relief when it was determined that General Flynn, who resigned because he spoke to the Russians about lifting sanctions before Trump became President, does not have a private email server.

“The problem has been fixed,” Congressman Jason Chaffetz said today. “Flynn has resigned–and he had no private email server! No further investigation is warranted. Although I’m thinking of looking into Secretary Clinton’s emails. Still lots to discuss there.”

House Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he didn’t think an independent investigation was warranted.

“It’s not like the Russians hacked the election, or anything,” he said, adding, “Excuse me, but is that a squirrel on your shoulder?”

Sean Spicer, Press Secretary, said in a question and answer session with the press, “General Flynn resigned.” Then, slapping himself on the cheek, said, “The President asked for his resignation,” and continued back and forth with slaps and reversals for a full ten minutes.

Kelleyanne Conway went on the Today Show, and began speaking in tongues. No translation is available or possible.

Latest reports are the President is locked in the Oval Office binge watching “Wheel of Fortune,” and is not to be disturbed.

######

POLITICAL SATIRE. Not Real News

Support The Failing Times on PATREON.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: