News Ticker

Trump orders all lights turned out at night so immigrants won’t know we’re at home

© Jean_Nelson via

(Political Satire, Still Legal in the USA) (WASHINGTON–BULLETIN) President Trump said that he was taking an additional new step to ensure the security of “our country” after his immigration ban was stopped by the courts.

“Effective immediately, I am signing an executive order requiring all lights in the United States turned off after 7:30 PM, so that immigrants wanting to get in our country will think we aren’t at home and will move on to Canada,” the President said.

A spokesman for the White House said they were confident that this time, Trump’s Executive Order would withstand all court challenges.

“This is not a Muslim ban,” the spokesman said. “This is us hiding with the shades pulled down. It will most assuredly make us more safe.”

But that’s not all.  Trump is working on an additional safeguard.

“We are going to build a gigantic wall of garlic along all of our borders,” The President said. “This will definitely keep out vampires.”





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