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Trump nominates Antonin Scalia, dead a year, to Supreme Court

By Stephen Masker (Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia) [CC BY 2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

(Political Satire, STILL Legal in USA) (WASHINGTON, Jan 31, 2017) In a move that stunned most judicial experts,  President Trump, looking for the most conservative justice he could find, nominated Antonin Scalia to serve on the Supreme Court.

“Besides defending our great country, there is no other job more important than nominating a Supreme Court justice. I wanted someone who would be able to serve for eternity, just to rub it in. And who better than a dead guy? It just shows that I get all the best people, dead or alive.” Trump said. “Besides, he looks great. Even lost a little weight.”

GOP Leaders hailed the move.

“I hope my colleagues in the Senate, including my friends across the aisle, move swiftly to confirm him,” Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said. “This vacancy on the court is outrageous. President Trump has been in office almost ten days and it still hasn’t been filled.”

When The Failing Times asked the President if having a dead person serving in government was a liability, the President was quick to reply.

“Zero problem. I got Kelleyanne Conway and Bannon, and they’ve both been dead for years. Win.”



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