Advertisements
News Ticker

Pence buys Trump tiny desk so he can play “President”

By U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) (POTUS visits DHS) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

(Political Satire, Still Legal in the USA) (WASHINGTON, D.C.–Jan 29, 2017) A top level White House source said today that Vice President Mike Pence bought Donald Trump the tiny desk where he has been signing things, so that he could make believe he is actually President.

“Everyone in the White House thinks it’s so cute, with Donnie sitting there in his little suit,” said Mrs. Ida Mae Washington, Trump’s childhood nanny. “He loves play acting, he always has, and I just think it was the best idea of Mr. Pence to let him pretend like this.”

According to an insider, Trump isn’t actually signing anything.

“Since he never reads what’s put in front of him, we just type up any old thing.  One ‘Executive Order’ was actually an old Saturday Night Live sketch. ”

A high level source also told The Failing Times that the entire staff goes out of their way to let him pretend he’s President.

“That phone call to Putin?” said the staffer, “Well, he wasn’t really talking to Putin. It was Steve Bannon on the extension using a really bad Russian accent. But he bought it.”

According to our sources, the real governing is done by Bannon and Pence when “Donnie goes down  for his nap.”

“They also can get things done when he’s watching TV. Nobody interrupts the President when Wheel Of Fortune is on.”

J. Staugas contributed to the reporting of this story.

##############

POLITICAL SATIRE. Not Real News

Support The Failing Times on PATREON.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: