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Trump Says Millions of Women Marching Are Looking For His Inauguration Celebration

By Ted Eytan from Washington, DC, USA (2017.01.21 Women's March Washington, DC USA 00094) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

(Political Satire, STILL Legal in the USA) (WASHINGTON, D.C.-Jan 21, 2017) President Donald Trump said that the millions of women marching around the country today were confused and actually looking for his inauguration celebrations, which took place yesterday.

When told that the march was actually a protest against the GOP’s anti-woman agenda, and his own disparaging remarks on the campaign trail, and that women were very, very angry, the President shook his head.

“I understand women, believe me. When you’re President, they let you do anything. Just walk right up to them and grab them by the pink hat.”

When The Failing Times told the President that today’s marches were likely the largest single-day protest march in American history, he shook his head.

“They’re lost,” the President said. “Women have a terrible sense of direction. I know this for a fact, because the last time I planned a romantic date night with Melania, she never showed up.”


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