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Obama pardons Trump in advance for any crimes he’ll probably commit

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(Political Satire, Still Legal in the USA) (WASHINGTON, Jan 17, 2017) As on of his last official acts as the 44th President of the United States, President Obama has issued a “full and unconditional pardon” to President-elect Donald J. Trump.

“The President has been issuing pardons all week,” said a White House spokesman, “And it just seemed to him to be a nice thing to do, a bipartisan gesture that might heal us in this time of great anxiety about the future.”

Mr. Trump, who takes the oath of office with the lowest approval rating of any President in recent memory, and who lost the popular vote by almost three million votes, is likely to be in violation of the Constitution immediately after taking office because of his many business conflicts of interest.

“It’s very helpful, this pardon thing,” Trump said when he heard the news. “I always liked Obama. He’s a nice, nice, man. He was born in Hawaii–did you know that?”

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Political Satire, Not Real News.

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