(Political Satire, Still Legal in USA) (WASHINGTON, Jan 12, 2017) Emergency medical personnel from all over the District of Columbia responded to a massive outbreak of Amnesia among GOP leaders in Congress today.
The crews were first rushed to the halls of Congress when someone noticed, late last evening, that Republicans had suddenly forgotten how many people had no health insurance before Obamacare, and began the process of repealing it.
Charles Stethoscope, an EMT who was first on the scene, said Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was unresponsive when he asked him how many people died before Obamacare, because they could not get coverage because of a preexisting condition.
“He was not responding, ” Stethoscope said. “His eyes were glassy and he kept mumbling something like, ‘Medicare is next.'”
This strain of Amnesia appears to be fast acting, making it even more dangerous.
Bob Corker (R) from Tennessee, suddenly forgot that he had introduced an amendment to delay the repeal of Obamacare until March, and withdrew it.
In his Senate confirmation hearing, Sen. Jeff Sessions forgot that he had once said Donald Trump’s remarks about grabbing women were not sexual assault, and now thought they were.
Officials at the Center for Disease Control said they think the outbreak has been building for quite some time.
“We’ve been noticing it since Trump won the election,” said Dr. Evita M. Thermometer. “Right after Trump’s election, noted Republicans seemed to forget they were violently opposed to him. We are especially concerned about Mitt Romney, and we are sending a life flight chopper to his home to check on him.”
Dr. Thermometer also said she became concerned over the question of deficits.
“When Obama tried to get a massive stimulus package passed, Republicans objected because it would add to the deficit. But now, this pernicious Amnesia has taken hold of them, because repealing Obamacare will probably cost hundreds of millions of dollars. And they also want a tax cut which could cost even more. Their sudden loss of memory on the question of deficits is extremely alarming, and speaks to the fast acting danger of this strain.
The President-elect and his advisers are not immune to this infection, said Thermometer.
“President-elect Trump probably has one of the worst cases of Amnesia I’ve ever seen, I only hope we can get him to Walter Reed Hospital in time.
“And Kellyanne Conway seems to have completely forgotten that we have a free press in the United States,” the doctor added.
But what has health officials to the edge of panic are signs that this massive epidemic is spreading to the general population.
Republican voters are already forgetting that traditionally, Russia was a powerful adversary of the United States. Approval of Vladimir Putin among registered Republicans is now at an all time high.
“And what’s worse, people are also forgetting …. what a minute. What was I saying?”
Political Satire, not real news