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Trump proclaims victory over the truth

Gage Skidmore (

(Political Satire, Still Legal in the USA) FLORIDA– President-elect Donald Trump announced today that it has been confirmed that whatever he says is true.

“I’m never wrong, ” the President-elect said. “Whatever I say, is going to be true. You see this tie.” Trump said, pointing to his blue tie. “It’s red.”

When The Failing Times pointed out that the tie was blue, Trump doubled down.

“It’s the most red a tie could be.”

Then, smiling, he added: “Look, yesterday, the editor of the Wall Street Journal went on TV and said he would not want to use the word ‘lying’ when it comes to the things I say, which are great things, by the way. They are the best things,” Trump said. “And if I’m not lying, then I must be telling the truth, am I right? Exactly.”

Mr. Trump was referring to Gerard Baker, WSJ Editor, who appeared on Meet The Press and said that he would be hesitant to use the word “lying” when referring to Mr. Trump’s falsehoods.

“I think if you start ascribing a moral intent, as it were, to someone by saying that they’ve lied, I think you run the risk that you look like you are, like you’re not being objective,” Baker said.

“So don’t you dare accuse me of lying,” Mr Trump continued, “Because if you do, I’m going to unleash my beautiful Twitter account on you and tell everybody how you are not being objective.”

As the President elect turned to go, he smirked, and added:

“And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to continue to drain the swamp, create the best jobs, not touch Social Security and Medicare, and Make America Great Again. And, by the way, Russia didn’t hack the election, and I won by three million popular votes.

“And Happy New Year– it’s 1957.”


This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.


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