(Political Satire, Still Legal in USA) NEW YORK– In an effort to momentarily forget that he is the biggest loser of the popular vote in United States election history, President-elect Donald J. Trump Tweeted this New Year’s message today:
“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”
According to Mrs. Ida May Washington, his childhood nanny, after Tweeting his New Year’s message, the President-elect immediately checked to see if he still had lost the popular vote by almost three million votes.
“When he discovered that he was still the biggest popular vote loser in Presidential election history, Donnie kicked at his dog, Taco Bowl,” said Mrs. Washington. “He broke that phone of his, too, and I had to give him a little time out.”
“Donnie seems to have won the Presidency by only about 70,000 votes that gave him his electoral victory, hardly the landslide that his folks are running around bragging about.”
“I told him he was going to stay in his time out corner until he learned to be a more gracious winner,” Mrs. Washington added. “So he took his crayons and drew a mad picture of me.”
When asked to comment on the President-elect’s Tweet, Mrs. Clinton issued this carefully crafted statement:
“I want to wish the President-elect a Happy New Year. In this time of political division, it is important that as Americans, we all come together and acknowledge our true enemies–like a Russian government that would hack our elections.”
Then, she added:
“And also, I beat you by almost three million popular votes. Loser.”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.