(Political Satire, Still Legal in USA) WASHINGTON– Speaker of the House Paul Ryan said again yesterday that the GOP controlled Congress would immediately repeal Obamacare early in the new year, “before people figure out that they really, really like it.”
Sources inside the Speaker’s office say that the party is worried that if they wait too long, Trump voters will figure out that going to the doctor and taking care of health problems is actually good for them.
“If people realize this, it may put in jeopardy our planned tax cut for the upper 1%. If we have to spend that money on subsidies so lower income people can have health care, you’re going to see a decrease in spending on luxury goods, like a third yacht or seventh car. That could really hurt our economy.”
According to the We Want It All Foundation, a conservative think tank, “The longer Obamacare is around, the more people will discover that government works, and we just can’t have that. It goes against our message, and we’ll have to re-print a bunch of T-shirts.”
But the realization that health care is good may already be happening.
Three days ago, a Trump voter. Mr. Elmer Lockhammer, 60, who has help paying his health care premiums through Obamacare, went to see his doctor.
“I was feeling really tired and short of breath after shoveling the three feet of snow that fell overnight here in Florida, which my idiot liberal grandson said was due to global warming. Anyway, after I saw my doctor, she gave me this medicine she said would get rid of my pneumonia.”
“I had my doubts, but I took it. And I feel better” Mr. Lockhammer said.
“I called her and asked how these little pills worked so fast, and she told me it was something called science,” Lockhammer added.
“You know, if these pills worked, it makes me wonder whether there might be something to this Obamacare thing after all!”
When asked to comment on Mr. Lockhammer’s positive experience with Obamacare, and whether the GOP should not keep a program that helps millions, Speaker Ryan replied:
“Hillary Clinton. Emails.”
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