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Putin says he won’t expel U.S. diplomats because in few weeks he’ll have new American secret agent in place

www.kremlin.ru. via wikimedia cc

(Political Satire, Still Legal in USA) MOSCOW– Russian President Vladimir Putin, in a reversal of course, said he would not expel U.S. diplomats from Russia in retaliation for President Obama’s sanctions over the Russian hacking of the U.S. Presidential race.

“I’ve decided not to make diplomats move, ” Mr. Putin said today. “There is no need. In about three weeks I will have new American secret agent in place who I will be able to control. This agent will do far more damage than sending fat capitalists in suits back to Washington.”

Putin’s comments caused immediate heated speculation in Congress.

“We’re going to have hearings and investigate,” Senator John McCain said. “It’s a matter of national security. I want to know who this secret agent is.”

President-elect Trump Tweeted that he always knew Putin “was very smart,” but was unavailable for further comment, as he was reportedly in his private screening room at Trump Tower watching old James Bond movies.

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This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.

 

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