(Political Satire, Still Legal in the USA) DEVELOPING–TRUMP TOWER, NY– Donald Trump grew impatient today at having to wait until January 20th to be sworn in as the 45th President, so he swore himself in as the 44th and a half POTUS, effective immediately.
The ceremony was a quiet affair, with only Trump, Mrs. Trump, and Vladimir Putin, attending.
Trump gave himself the oath on the Trump family Bible, which his father, Fred, on his deathbed, sold to him. Sources close to the family said that “President Trump got a terrific deal on that Bible.”
In the oath, which Mr. Trump himself wrote, he promised “to keep out of Mike Pence’s way.”
Afterwards, there was a small Inaugural Ball in the Penthouse, with Mr. and Mrs. Trump sitting in gold chairs while Mr. Putin drank himself to sleep.
Additional entertainment was provided by an 8-track cassette player, also purchased from his father in the same deal that bought him the family Bible, and a limited license to use the family’s last name, Trump.
(In 1992 the latter part of the deal was thrown into litigation, explaining why, for years, Mr. Trump referred to himself only as “The Donald,” having temporarily lost the rights to the Trump last name.)
President Trump intends to govern from Trump Tower. On January 20th , he’ll be sworn in as the 45th President, at which time he expects to split his time between Trump Tower and a hair salon on Lexington Avenue.
When asked for comment, President Obama, in an effort at keeping the relationship with Mr. Trump cordial, said: “You know, sometimes I think someone took a straw and sucked out that man’s brains.”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.