(Political Satire, Still Legal in the U.S.A.) WASHINGTON– President Obama has hidden the nuclear briefcase, sources inside the White House told The Failing Times today .
The move came after President-elect Donald Trump, in a Tweet Thursday, revived the idea of building more nuclear weapons in what some see as a promise to start a new arms race.
The briefcase, nick-named “the football,” gives a President the codes for launching America’s stock of nuclear weapons in a matter of seconds.
“We gotta hide this thing,” a source quoted President Obama as saying, “before this lunatic goes rogue at 3 a.m. one morning.”
The source said the President looked all over the White House for the best place to hide it, but returned to the Oval Office with the case still in hand.
The source said Obama was sitting on the couch in the oval with the briefcase on his lap, then looked at the desk and laughed.
“That’s the perfect place to put it,” the President reportedly said. Then, according to the source, the President hid the briefcase in the bottom drawer of the Oval Office desk.
“I’ll sleep better tonight,” the President said, looking towards his desk. “He’ll never look in there.”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.