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GOP cheers as Obamacare collapses under weight of 6.4 million new enrollees

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(Political Satire, Still Legal in U.S.A.) WASHINGTON– GOP leaders celebrated today at the news that 6.4 million new people had signed up for health care through the Affordable Care Act

“It’s what we’ve been saying all along, ” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said yesterday. “Obamacare is collapsing under its own weight. Do you know how heavy 6.4 million people are?”

Republican leaders have vowed to repeal the law as one of the first pieces of business in the new Trump Congress.

“Look,” said a spokesman for the GOP. “The law has a lot of things wrong with it. So rather than fix it, we think it’s far better to just go in and repeal a bunch of stuff that insures we completely screw things up.”

Paul Ryan, The Speaker of the House, and a staunch opponent of the Affordable Care Act, said too many fear tactics were being used.

“No one will lose their insurance,” Speaker Ryan said. “We are going to make sure that all Americans have equal access to unaffordable private insurance policies that cost a fortune, with high deductibles and no real coverage. When people have to pay a bit more for care, they have skin in the game. It’s what the American people want.”

Henry M. Washington, an American person, agreed.

“I’ve got two options,” Mr. Washington said. “I can either be covered with the not perfect Obamacare, which I can afford, or I can not have health insurance, and risk bankruptcy if I get sick. And I’d much rather have to eat cat food to afford my medicines so I can have some skin in the game. Isn’t that what all responsible Americans want?”

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This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.

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