(Political Satire) NEW YORK — President-elect Donald J. Trump said today that everyone in America voted for him, and that his opponent, Hillary Clinton, did not receive a single vote.
“All those votes she supposedly had, they were reported by the biased, dishonest and unfair media. I have no confirmation she actually got those votes. I actually don’t believe it,” Trump said Wednesday morning. “It’s so sad.”
When told that Mrs. Clinton received 2.8 million more votes that he did, Mr. Trump said that every vote cast for Mrs. Clinton was fraudulent.
“Everybody who voted for her was either dead, illegal, or a big fat guy on his bed in New Jersey. Or Bill Clinton,” Mr. Trump said. “I happen to know that Bill Clinton voted for her twice–once in a voting booth and once as an elector! Now you tell me that’s fair? It’s fraud. In fact, forget about locking her up, we should lock him up!”
When asked to comment, former President Bill Clinton said, “I’d send him a copy of the Constitution if I thought he could read.”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.