(Political Satire, Still Legal in U.S.A.) WASHINGTON — President-elect Donald J. Trump has not held a press conference since July, and the press is getting desperate.
Fear not, Fourth Estate: you’ll soon be able to bid on one.
The Failing Times has learned today that a Texas Non-Profit, Pay Pay Pay to Play Play Play, Inc., is planning to host a charity event during the inaugural weekend and auction off a press conference with the new President.
“We think it’s a marvelous idea. The press gets to ask questions, and a good cause benefits, ” said a spokesperson for the non-profit. “In fact, President Trump plans to auction off all of his press conferences in his first term. Both of them.”
When asked if the American public didn’t have the right to hear from their President and have him answer questions, chief adviser Kellyann Conway said, “Yes, providing you pay for it. Look, President Trump is a business man, and he’s busy. If the Press wants to ask a question, let them make ready with the Benjamins.”
Rumors are also swirling that Mr. Trump will only speak to the American people via pay per view streaming services, and that future auctions will include The State of the Union address.
When The Failing Times asked for a reaction from Present Trump himself, a spokesman told us it would cost us $50,000.
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.