(Political Satire, Still Legal in U.S.A.) HEAVEN– On the final stop of President-elect Donald Trump’s “Thank-you Tour,” evangelist Franklin Graham said that he felt Trump had been elected by a spiritual force: “I believe it was God.”
But in an exclusive interview in Heaven with The Failing Times, God, who appeared before us as a “nasty woman” (Her words), strongly disagreed.
“How does he know if it was me that elected Trump? He doesn’t know. It’s not like I talk to him. Because I definitely voted for Mrs. Clinton,” God said.
“You know, I’m getting pretty sick and tired of white men running around speaking for me,” God added.
When asked what She thought of Mr. Trump’s electoral victory, God shook Her head.
“I usually don’t get involved in politics, you know? I’ve got things to do. But I’m thinking long term, here. I built the world in seven days, and it would really piss me off if it was destroyed in the next four years.”
“And another thing,” God added. “If Mr. Trump wants to grab anybody by the private parts, let him try it with me. I’ll see him on Judgement Day and we’ll see how that goes.”
When asked if She had a message for the people who had voted for the President-elect, God said:
“Yes, I do. What were you people thinking? Don’t make me come down there!”
Then, She added, “And Happy Hannukah.”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.