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Russia Annexes North Carolina

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(Political Satire, Still Legal in USA) MOSCOW– A spokesman for the Kremlin confirmed today that the State of North Carolina is now part of Russian territory.

“We wish to welcome North Carolina into new Russian Empire,” the spokesman said. “President Putin is big fan of southern fried chicken.”

According to sources deep in the Kremlin, the annexation was paved by GOP lawmakers in the state, who were delighted to end democracy of their own volition.

“They voted to remove many of the powers of the incoming governor, who is a Democrat,” the source said. “We were delighted about this. It paves the way for our oligarchic style to directly transfer into the Better Place To Be state,” he said, in reference to North Carolina’s state slogan.

Indeed, GOP leaders in North Carolina were delighted.

“We’ve long believed that there were too many political parties in our state,” said spokesman Homer J. Cracker. “Now we have one party, which suits us just fine. And, we also can keep our bathrooms the way we want them. President Putin has promised us that.”

When asked for a comment, President-elect Trump said, “Where’s North Carolina?”


This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.


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