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Putin Says He Won’t Live In White House via wikimedia cc

(Political Satire–Still Legal in the U.S.) WASHINGTON– Russian President Vladimir Putin said today that he would not be living in the White House, despite defeating Hillary Clinton in the Presidential election.

“I’m quite comfortable in the Kremlin, ” Mr. Putin said today. “Plus, I don’t want to add to any traffic jams in Washington. That would clearly happen if my tanks were arranged around Pennsylvania Avenue.”

Donald Trump said in response that “I completely understand the President’s decision. He’s a smart guy. We can get him on the phone in minutes when we need him.”

Mr. Trump, who will continue to spend most of his time at Trump Tower, noted that the White House isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

“There’s not a single gold plated faucet in the entire place. None. I mean– come on.”

Mr. Putin is the first Russian leader to defeat a candidate running for the office of U.S. President. “I have long dreamed of this moment, but never thought it would be possible that me, a simple boy whose mother worked in factory, could grow up to win White House!”

Asked if he would be lonely living all the way at the Kremlin while things were going on in Washington, Mr. Putin laughed. “No. I will have Secretary of State to keep me company.”



This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.




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