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Obama on Election: “The Russian People Have Spoken”

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(Political Satire) WASHINGTON– President Obama issued a warning to those trying to de-legitimize the election of Donald J. Trump.

“Look, the Russian people have spoken,” Obama said. “It’s clear that they prefer Donald Trump. And if you don’t believe me–ask the CIA. It’s time to move on.”

But Democratic leaders reacted angrily to the President’s statement.

“We are not ready to move on,” said incoming Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “The evidence is clear–Putin and his Russian thugs interfered in this election. It’s an outrageous breach of national security, and we intend to do something about it.”

When asked exactly what was going to be done about it, Schumer replied, “I haven’t the slightest idea. It might be a meme–we’re working on a really good one using Trump’s double chins. But make no mistake about it–we will respond. We cannot allow this to happen. So we’ll probably get around to a response soon. I think. Maybe.”

Senator Bernie Sanders from Vermont also issued a firm response.

“Let me be clear. This situation, with Russia interfering in an American election, with Trump appointing cabinet members who are clearly going to dismantle the very agencies they are appointed to lead, this horrible compromising of our patriotic principles, will be a tremendous fund raising opportunity for us.”

The Clinton campaign has been all but silent on the activities of the Trump camp since the election. As troubling cabinet members are appointed, as the President-elect makes clearly untruthful claims that “3,000 illegal votes were cast in California,” as the CIA reports that the Russians were trying to help Trump win the election, critics are harshly suggesting that Mrs. Clinton has simply walked away without a fight.

A source inside the Democratic party said, “If the tables were reversed, Trump’s people would have an entire army of lawyers spread out, proclaiming victory and fighting as hard as possible. Where is Mrs. Clinton? She got almost three million more votes than him!”

But John Podesta, chairman of Clinton’s campaign, disagrees.

“Mrs. Clinton has not stopped fighting. She is seriously–very seriously–considering taking Mr. Trump off her Christmas card list.

Mrs. Clinton was not available for comment, as she was out on a walk with her dog.

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This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.

 

 

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