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Trump Says ‘Nobody Really Knows’ if Climate Change is Real Except All Those Scientists

Gage Skidmore (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/legalcode)

(Political Satire) NEW YORK– In an interview with The Failing Times, President-elect Donald Trump said Sunday that he had a “very open mind” on the subject of climate change.

When asked if the United States would withdraw from the Paris Climate Agreement, Trump said that “nobody really knows if climate change is real. I mean, sure, all those brainy scientists know. Al Gore knows–he told me himself. But, personally, I don’t know. But I have an open mind.”

Asked what, besides the testimony of scientific experts, would convince him that climate change was real, the President-elect said, “Have you seen my new red hat? It has USA across it and 45 on the side. It’s a beautiful, beautiful hat. The best hat.”

When asked again about the threat of climate change, which an overwhelming number of experts believe, conclusively, is real and a threat to the fate of the earth, Trump said:

“Look, I get it. Nobody knows. I asked everybody at a meeting of my advisers if they knew. I asked my son-in-law. I called Rudy. I even called Christie. Nobody knew! So, I’m keeping an open mind, but remember, I do know this, other countries are eating our lunch. And it’s our lunch. A beautiful lunch. It’s a lunch that, well, it’s a lunch, and it’s ours, believe me. And you know what I mean,” he said. “Here, have one of the new hats. I’ll sign it for you.”

 

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This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.

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