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Trump Turns Over His Businesses To Family Dog

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(Breaking Satire) NEW YORK– In an effort to quell growing discontent over the many potential conflicts of interest arising between the Presidency and Donald Trump’s many international business interests, Mr. Trump announced today that he would be turning over all his assets to a blind trust administered by the family dog, Taco Bowl.

Clyde M. Grababuck, one of Mr. Trump’s lawyers, said in a statement to the media early today that he was confident that the arrangement was sufficiently arm’s length to avoid any conflict of interest and constituted a blind trust. “I mean, from what I can tell, the dog is actually almost blind, so we’re good here,” Mr. Grababuck said.

According to an inside source,  Trump told staffers today that “Taco Bowl is a very, very independent doggie. Nobody tells The Taco what to do, believe me.”

When The Failing Times asked if Mr. Trump’s children would continue to manage the day in and day out affairs of his international business, Trump adviser Kellyann Conway said, “I’m sure his adult children will assist Taco Bowl. But I can see where this question is going, so I want to make it clear that Taco will be completely independent. His little bed has even been moved to a quiet corner in the Penthouse, and he will not have an office at the White House.”

When The Failing Times caught up with Taco Bowl during his walk and asked for a comment, he bit us.

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This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.

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