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Romney and Giuliani Literally Wrestle for Secretary of State Job


(Political Satire) WASHINGTON– President-elect Donald J. Trump today set out to settle the question of who would be his Secretary of State by announcing that the two top contenders will actually wrestle for it.

“Look, they’re both great guys, the real deal. And they’re in really, really great shape, they look like Secretaries of State, don’t they? So, I thought this might be an exciting way to get this done,”  said the former showman and future President of the United States.

The inside line from bookmakers in Las Vegas set the odds at 2:1 in Romney’s favor. “He’s the young one, and as a Mormon he doesn’t drink. I think that gives him a solid edge,” said bookmaker Clarence O’Hennesy.

But a competing bookmaker had a different take on the odds. “Rudy is from New York. He’s a street fighter. He’s got a takedown that is second to nobody. I hear when he was mayor he pinned his police commissioner in three moves.”

Trump said that the match would take place at the Trump Taj Mahal and would be available as a live event in theaters across the country. “It’s going to be a beautiful, beautiful thing. We want the United States to be represented by winners, and what better way than this match? ”

Trump also announced that ringside seats would be available at $10,000 each, with all the proceeds going to the Trump Foundation. “We’ll do good things with that money, great, great things.”

A source close to the President-elect said that while speaking to President Obama yesterday on a private call,  Trump asked him to referee the event. “As far as I know, the President hasn’t said no.”


This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.

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