(Political Satire) WASHINGTON– GOP House leaders announced today that they had found a replacement for President Obama’s signature health care law, the Affordable Care Act, more popularly known as Obamacare.
“The American people have spoken,” said a spokesperson for the House leadership. “They want this terrible law, that gives health care to millions, to be replaced and repealed, and we have the answer.”
The spokesperson unveiled a first aid kit that the incoming Trump Administration is planning to make available to all Americans.
“Actually, to clarify, it’s a voucher for a first-aid-kit. That way you’ll have choice in where you buy it,” the spokesman said.
When The Failing Times asked why the first aid kit had TRUMP printed across it, and whether or not that meant President-elect Trump had a financial interest in the kits, the spokesman said, “Well, I don’t know anything about that.”
But the President-elect was quick to hold a news conference to show off his new first aid kit.
“Look. It’s a beautiful, beautiful kit. The best kit, really,” Trump said. “It’s got adhesive bandages, those little cotton balls, Mercurochrome. It even has one of those rubber things you slide over your finger when you have a cut. I think we’re winning with this.”
Democratic leaders, were quick to respond. “If the President-elect thinks he’s going to ram this first aid kit down our throats, without at least a bottle of aspirin included, he’s going to have a street fight on his hands,” said a spokesperson for the Democratic leadership.
When told of the proposed GOP plan, President Obama was quick to react.
“Whaaat?” he said.
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.