(Political Satire)(NEW YORK) Despite campaign promises that he was going to build a wall on the Mexican border, and Mexico was going to pay for it, President-elect Trump said today that he has decided to plant a few rose bushes instead.
“Look, I said all along I was going to keep an open mind about the whole thing, ” Mr. Trump said. “I said, maybe a wall, maybe parts of it would be a fence. I think the way to go may be to just plant a few rose bushes and call it a day.”
The President-elect plans to transplant the bushes from the Trump Turnberry golf course in Scotland. “They got black spot from all the rain over there. I think they’ll do better in the warm climate on the border. Of course, I’m not going to personally replant them. I have people for that.”
But Trump insisted this would be a first class deterrent for illegal immigration. “Look, rose bushes are prickly, they can scratch you. You ever get scratched by a rose thorn? Gets infected, just like that. Believe me, nobody from Mexico is going to want to risk that kind of an injury just to rejoin their family, or, you know, try to raise their standard of living. It just isn’t going to happen. Trust me.”
Asked who would pay for the rose bushes, Mr. Trump insisted that “Mexico would.”
But Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, asked to comment while enjoying a picnic with his family, spit beer through his nose when told about Mr. Trump’s comments. “Que broma,” he said, laughing out loud. “If you believe that, can I sell you the Rio Grande?”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.