(Political Satire)(LONDON) Theoretical physicist and Presidential Medal of Freedom winner Steven Hawking announced today that the world had most certainly entered an “alternative universe.”
Hawking, widely considered to be one of the most brilliant minds in the world, held a press conference outside The Institute For The Study of String Theory in London.
“At first, we thought we had entered another universe when a black man was elected President of the United States. But then we realized that event was simply, well–progress.”
Hawking said his team first noticed what they concluded was a definite shift in the time-space continuum, when F.B.I Director James Comey re-opened an investigation into Hilary Clinton’s emails 11 days before Election Day.
“We were certain at that point that there had been a tear in the fabric of space time, and that has been confirmed by our assessment of the results of the election.”
When asked what that meant, Hawking was blunt. “It means that somewhere there is another universe where Mrs. Clinton is now President.”
After news of Hawking’s story broke, a spokesman for the Institute said there was a flood of emails requesting a way into that other universe. “I’m afraid we have a deep waiting list, including the over sixty-four million votes cast for Mrs. Clinton, as well as several million more from angry white men who are upset that President-elect Trump has decided not to lock her up.”
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is among those angry white men. “When I found out about the other universe, I thought it might be more fun to be there and try to obstruct her administration for the next 8 years. So, I want in!”
This story is POLITICAL SATIRE and NOT Real News. Smile, everybody.